The Beautiful Life

Okay

2008-04-09T00:15:00.000-05:00

Its ready now.
My new blog.
Join me here.

2008-03-18T17:41:00.001-05:00

I am simplifying my life. It feels so good.

Quiet

2008-02-29T17:49:00.000-06:00

I know I have been quiet, but that is because I feel quiet. So to both of my readers out there, don't worry, I will be back soon.

Amani

2008-01-29T14:54:00.001-06:00

Please be in prayer for Kenya. Pray for peace and compassion. For enough food, medicine, understanding and for a sense of hope. Please.

Briefly

2007-12-13T05:36:00.000-06:00

I love Kenya, more than I remembered.
I have not felt this whole in over 3 years.
I am so thankful for the passion fruits of this country (this is not a euphemism).
I am headed to Lamu for a few days and I can't wait.
I will spend Christmas with my family here and New Year's in Nyeri.
My life is beautiful but is only made so by the wonderful people I share it with.

Nzuri Maisha

2007-12-01T16:30:00.000-06:00

The beautiful life. Indeed. Abundance, green, smooth. I leave tomorrow. I may not come back. My heart just stopped. Kenya-mimi si mgeni-I am not a guest. Mimi ni mkenya-I am a Kenyan.

Normally

2007-10-30T10:54:00.000-05:00

I only like to say who I am for and not who I am against. But, with crazies like John McCain running around, I have no problem saying who I am against-John McCain. Wow. Here is a quote from the "Harper's Weekly Review" that showed up in my email this morning.

"Senator John McCain promised workers at Thompson Center
Arms, a small-weapons factory in Rochester, New Hampshire,
that he would 'follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of
hell" and "shoot him with your products.' McCain also
promised that if he were elected 'the background music
would be ABBA in the elevators all over the White House'
and proposed 'Take a Chance on Me' as his campaign
song."

I mean seriously-Abba? Proof of his insanity right there.

Finally

2007-10-28T01:41:00.000-05:00

I put a lot of pictures up from the last several months. I can't really figure out how to use flickr, so they are little out of order, but you'll figure it out. Here are a few pictures of my beautiful and perfect niece. Everything is good, I am busy. But aren't we always busy?

Wellah, it's about time

2007-09-25T19:43:00.000-05:00

My...(ahem, cough) little sister had her baby today!! Crazy!!! Meridian October Garcia entered the world at 10:32am. My sister was relieved after 4 days of labor!!! Yikes, she's a fighter. Pictures to come after I return from Colorado in mid-October.

One More Reason

2007-09-21T13:36:00.001-05:00

One more reason why David Bowie is my hero. I'm sure most of you know what has been going on in Jena, LA over the course of the last 1.5 years, and what is currently happening. If you don't know go here, there is a very thorough article about the current events. There was a huge march in Chicago yesterday protesting the events. Unfortunately I couldn't go because I was in class.
It is so obvious to me that what is happening here is clearly discrimination and an issue of racism.
You can here to sign a petition, I hope you do.

Ummmm...I'm sorry, what did you say?

2007-09-15T02:20:00.000-05:00

I saw this site on my friend Josh's blog. I am sure this unbelievable site must be a joke, but maybe not. Here is my favorite quote.

"Thank God for your site! Our daughter was really nervous walking down the aisle, but she seems okay now and the money we got let us keep our farm and even add on a few acres."

Also you should check out the FAQ section because I think they are asking some pretty damn good questions.

In a total state of disbelief

2007-09-11T23:33:00.000-05:00

Tonight I purchased a round-trip (although the one-way was soooooo tempting) to go here in December for 5 weeks. I have no idea what to say, none. Okay one, thank you Lord, thank you.

My life

2007-09-07T18:29:00.000-05:00

Today while sitting at my desk at Interfaith, I distinctly heard two of the men I work with say:

Mother Russia

and

Kaput

Life is good.

Tomorrow

2007-09-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

I start my internship at Interfaith Refugee and Immigration Ministries. Whoa.

New Seminary Subject: Homemaking

2007-08-13T23:02:00.000-05:00

Wow. As with most things, what is right or wrong is not totally clear to me. I am not sure it is even about right or wrong, it feels like it is about freedom and oppression. Here is the link to an article published in the Washington Post today.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/09/AR2007080900931.html?hpid=sec-religion

It is frustrating and disheartening. Why does it have to be about this all the time?

Gentrification

2007-07-12T00:55:00.000-05:00

I don't know how to start this conversation and more importantly how to continue it when it gets really, really hard, because it is going to get really, really hard. I am making a conscious decision to move into a low-income, predominately Mexican neighborhood on the sort of Southside of Chicago. It is awesome there. The people talk to each other, there are kids in the streets, the only grocery store is not a chain, I can ride my bike downtown in 15 minutes, they have great Cafe con Leche, I feel sane here. Last night as I walking down the road with two of my other gringa friends I over hear some other folks say to each other, but loud enough for me to overhear, "Gentrification man, gentrification."
Now this is not meant to be an illustration of 'reverse racism', which is a grouping of words I absolutely loathe, it is meant to start a conversation about what this means and what I represent because of the color of my skin. In the eyes of most people, gentrification is a race issue not a class issue. I am not sure I entirely agree with this (I think a group of upper-middle class, mixed-ethnicity folk all invading the same neighborhood could have the same impact, I think), but I am not saying these people are wrong, it is just uncomfortable and that is okay. What does separate me from other folks who are moving into the 'hood but are paying 3 or 4x what I pay for my apartment? Especially what is the difference if I become complacent? This is about how to love people better and listening better and maybe, just maybe along the way both of doing things for the other that is going to help change us, for the better. Forgetting for a minute about our differences in race, religion, culture, socio-economic status and just sharing a geniune human connection.

In recent news

2007-07-08T19:27:00.000-05:00

I haven't stopped sweating in approximately 49.5 hours. I feel really full after a wonderful few weeks in Colorado with family. I really like "M.Ward" and "Spoon", really. I am moving to Pilsen in a few weeks. If you are reading this, I probably miss you.

Roasted Maize

2007-05-23T15:39:00.000-05:00

Today I am dreaming of Africa. My mind is having a hard time thinking about anything other than red dirt, rain, fresh mangoes, lots of time waiting under the eaves, no place to go and nothing to do. So to console my aching heart, I decided I wanted some roasted maize, which isn't exactly easy to come by here in this city. Instead, I took some frozen corn, cooked it in a pan with lime juice and chile. I then proceeded to sit outside with my eyes closed and for a few seconds I convinced myself I was no longer in Chicago.

I think

2007-04-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

I can easily say, I am way too busy. Way too busy.

Flashback

2007-03-27T23:46:00.000-05:00

This one is for all you mid-to-late 20 somethings out there like me, who remember Teeny Little Super Guy from the good ol' days of Sesame Street. Yahoooo!!!

In Recent News

2007-03-23T21:54:00.000-05:00

Spring is here and I could not be happier about it!!!

A Revolution

2007-02-22T23:15:00.000-06:00

I have been hearing this word so much over the last few months, which has caused me to ponder its various forms intently. I think my favorite "definition" of revolution is here in the words of the inexplicable Dorothy Day:

"Young people say, 'What good can one person do? What is the sense of our small effort?' They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time; we can be responsible only for the one action of the present moment. But we can beg for an increase of love in our hearts that will vitalize and transform all our individual actions, and know that God will take them and multiply them, as Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes.
"The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us? When we begin to take the lowest place, to wash the feet of others, to love our brothers and sisters with that burning love, that passion, which led to the Cross, then we can truly say, 'Now I have begun.'"

Warning!!!

2007-02-19T15:52:00.000-06:00

Maybe it is because I don't own a TV, and I mostly listen to NPR for my news source, but I had no idea there has been a recall on Peter Pan Peanut Butter. So I thought I would do my civic duty and let you know the information so can save yourself from salmonella poisioning. Go here to get information about the recall. Oh, and I should mention, I had this PPPB in my home, with the infected batch number, and I have consumed it within the last week. But, I think I am fine.

I hate to say it

2007-02-17T23:38:00.000-06:00

But I told you it was the year of the bird

It must be true

2007-02-14T22:33:00.000-06:00

Today in my Psychology of the Oppressed and Liberation Theology class, I openly called myself and oppressor, a colonizer for the first time in front of people. This thought has circulated in my head many many times, but today I claimed it, and so did every other white person in the room. It was candid discussion about the question, "Is liberation really possible?" Obviously this is not a question we answered today, and I am sure I will spend the rest of life thinking about.
Is one person's freedom always another person's bondage?
What role can I, the oppressor, take in the process of liberation?
I have no idea, and I think that no one does. Maybe my professor, he is probably building up to that. He also reminded us of the importance of shutting up and just listening, not providing answers, not defending our positions, but just hearing people. That, I can do.

So tiny

2007-02-13T16:36:00.000-06:00

I think I have fixed the problem of not being able to see where to comment because the font was sooo tiny tiny tiny. Do not be mistaken, this was a major problem. Thanks, Jerm!

Siberia

2007-02-04T22:56:00.000-06:00

I live in a place that will probably not see temperatures above 10 degrees until June. Right now-it is 3 degrees below zero-WITHOUT THE WIND--Does anyone remember I LIVE IN THE WINDY CITY?!!! With the windchill it is approximately 21 degrees below zero!!! Wow, and to top it all off, I guess the Bears lost the SuperBowl, bummer. I did however call them the Cubs all night to a group of strangers. Whoops, sorry Geoff White!

This is too much

2007-02-01T13:54:00.000-06:00

Gmail so conviently gives you little links and banners ads for things that happen to appear in your email, specific words or phrases or whatever. A little creepy, but nothing to fret about certainly. So today I received this link Littledemocrats

The book-"Why Mommy is a Democrat" that is being advertised on this page is sooo funny! You can purchase it on line for $10.00, and if you buy 4 you get the 5th one free!!! Here are so samples of the books pages.

I have the cure

2007-01-29T14:56:00.000-06:00

AILING HEART
+
OLD TIME/BLUEGRASS MUSIC LIVE
+
GOOD FRIENDS
+
SOCIAL GOSPEL
=
CURED

Go here for your own dose of the miracle cure.

FogHorn String Band
Dirk Powell Band
Clack Mountain String Band

I can't make a decision

2007-01-21T18:05:00.000-06:00

***What you are about to read is nothing new, original or even thought-provoking. It is simply my feelings/frustrations about church. I know this is old news, but I had to say it. So there, I said it.***
For two years I have been looking around at churches. There have been very few that I have felt really drawn to, few that I have could envision myself participating in for the long-term. Over the last two years, I have probably been to a dozen churches. Most times I leave feeling pretty discouraged, feeling deflated after hoping that this would finally be the place I could start calling my home.
I am exhausted by feeling like a stranger when I walk into the church, constantly introducing myself and never seeing old faces, faces of people I have a history with, whom know me and know my desire to be in community. I am exhausted by never feeling quite settled in these places. Some I go to once, some I go to a dozen times and don't ever feel like this is the place for me. I am frustrated.
I am frustrated that some churches have beautiful worship that really ushers in the Holy Spirit, but then are floppy in their theology, and sort of flippant about their beliefs. I appreciate when churches preach about the poor, the oppressed, the least of these but then forget our relationship with Jesus includes other aspects as well. (I need to say here that I do believe a major way in which we are called to experience Jesus and the gospel is through the poor and oppressed, but not only through this avenue. But I do believe this to be one of the cornerstones of the Christian faith). When I walk into a church and I hear a huge pipe organ and a beautiful choir I am moved but then am often not convinced that the person delivering the sermon really believes what they are saying. Have they actually experienced the Holy Spirit before?
I am tired of not being able to advocate for the church. Of not having new, and vibrant conversations about the churches but always stuck talking about my frustrations. I AM THE CHURCH!!! I know this, but a place, a sanctuary for worship and people with whom to commune is also the church. These are fundamental aspects to experiencing the Trinity, to living a life centered around the Kingdom. I am the church, but not as an individual, but as a part of the corporate body.
What I can not decide is if I should be frustrated with myself and my attitude, or with the corporation that is the church? What I do know is that I am ready to move on.

2007

2007-01-15T23:30:00.000-06:00

Has officially been pronounced "The Year of Liberation, The Year of the Bird"

The Great God Bird

2007-01-09T22:24:00.000-06:00

I am so tired and so full of food, life, questions, laughter, and gratefulness that all I can say tonight is check on my new pictures on flickr for a taste of the last month of my life. More to come.

Chicago

2006-12-17T11:00:00.000-06:00

Is fuller these days because I am here spending my time with this man.

Sometimes...

2006-12-12T23:34:00.000-06:00

Life is so good, you can hardly recount all the wonderful and unexpected occasions, blessings, friendships, reunions, and life-changing events that have helped construct your being, your spirit, your joy. So has been the story of the last months of my life here in Chicago. I am truly overwhelmed at the abundance I have been a part of over the last months of my life. In fact, it is even hard for me to determine when this newness began. Or rather when my perspective changed.
One of the enormous blessings has ofcourse been graduate school and all that has been ushered in with this new experience. I took a class on the history of violence and non-violence in the Christian tradition. It was a beautiful class that gave me fresh eyes for living a life committed to peace and non-violence in all areas-micro, mezzo, and macro. For our last class time we talked about local peace-making groups and what they were doing in the discipline of peace-making, one of the groups we discussed was Christian Peacemaker Teams who continue to inspire me and raise me to new levels of commitment. A few members of the team were held hostage last year, and one of them, Tom Fox died. They have released this statement regarding the impending trial their perpetrators are facing. It is so lovely and convicting. Please read it and contemplate it, it moved me deeply.
This article was originally published on Sojourners

Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Ryan Beiler: Christian Peacemakers Forgive Iraqi Captors Now Facing Trial
Norman Kember, Harmeet Singh Sooden, and James Loney, the three Christian Peacemaker Team members held by Iraqi militants for 118 days last year have responded to the arrest and trial of their captors much in the way anyone familiar with their organization would expect - with unconditional forgiveness and an unequivocal condemnation of violence as a means of justice.

Below are a few excerpts from their statement. You can also read James' and Harmeet's personal accounts of their abductions in the December issue of Sojourners magazine.

We unconditionally forgive our captors for abducting and holding us. We have no desire to punish them. Punishment can never restore what was taken from us.

What our captors did was wrong. They caused us, our families and our friends great suffering. Yet, we bear no malice towards them and have no wish for retribution. Should those who have been charged with holding us hostage be brought to trial and convicted, we ask that they be granted all possible leniency. We categorically lay aside any rights we may have over them.

In our view, the catastrophic levels of violence and the lack of effective protection of human rights in Iraq is inextricably linked to the U.S.-led invasion and occupation. As for many others, the actions of our kidnappers were part of a cycle of violence they themselves experienced. While this is no way justifies what the men charged with our kidnapping are alleged to have done, we feel this must be considered in any potential judgment.

...

Kidnapping is a capital offence in Iraq and we understand that some of our captors could be sentenced to death. The death penalty is an irrevocable judgment. It erases all possibility that those who have harmed others, even seriously, can yet turn to good. We categorically oppose the death penalty.

As one who spent many agonizing moments in prayer and reflection on their abduction last year (having considered going to Iraq with CPT myself), emotions rush back to the surface as I remember their lives hanging in the balance. On the other side of that Advent, I marvel at how their lives - and that of their fallen colleague Tom Fox - continue to shine as witnesses to the Prince of Peace and power and possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Ryan Beiler is the Web Editor for Sojourners/Call to Renewal.

Maybe it is not clear how these things are intertwined for me...maybe because I am not sure. But I know that something has happened to me over the last months to feel as if in some minute way I was in solidarity with these men. For the first time I understood their courage, and the grave importance of their stand against violence.

2006-11-30T22:41:00.000-06:00

Laughing baby

I had no idea how wonderful this would be. Please, please, please watch this. But only if you like to see babies laughing.

Full and Full

2006-11-29T15:53:00.000-06:00

I just returned from a wonderful, beautiful, filling week in Raleigh, North Carolina. I was there for Thanksgiving and help celebrate the marriage of my dear and kindred friend, Hillary. After leaving the weekend, the richness of my blessings has left me satiated and pondering. I think that maybe I had forgotten how many dear, dear people there are in my life to love and to be loved by. They know who they are, and I am so thankful for them.
Oh, and you can check out the wedding pictures on my flickr account.

Oh Yeah...

2006-11-19T23:55:00.000-06:00

Time alone is so good. I had a lot lot lot of it this weekend and I really, really needed it. It was wonderful to have space to clear out my thoughts, put stuff down on paper and just sit in silence, which I did most of the time, no iTunes, TV or anything. I feel more whole after I spend time alone, especially when it is significant amounts of time. I remember to do things I otherwise am too busy to remember, most importantly, I am reminded who I am and who God is, and I remember to pray.
In the past I have relied so much on community to help me maintain my relationship with God, as I grow the periods in which I remember I can do this on my own as well are shorter and fewer between. For this I am very grateful, hopefully, at some point, the times in which I forget this part will be minute compared to the rest of my life. I did spend a lot of time talking to friends this weekend, dear ones, and it made me really eager for good friends here, actually what I mean to say is, I am blessed with good friends here, I am just ready to move into intentional community with them. But, I see much hope for that in the immediate future and know that is where I am being lead.

I also want to mention, really quick, that I saw Gustavo Gutierrez speak this weekend, the padre of liberation theology. It was beautiful and inspiring and overall, a blessed time. He said so many thought provoking things (If anyone would like a summary of the night, I can send you my notes) but, my favorite was, "Poverty is not a misfortune, it is an injustice. It is not a destiny, it is a condition."

2006-11-18T18:35:00.000-06:00

Woody Allen Interviews Billy Graham-Part Duce

Really-I mean it-watch this!

2006-11-18T18:27:00.000-06:00

Woody Allen Interviews Billy Graham??!!!

Amazing!

Genesis

2006-11-18T17:59:00.000-06:00

Taking some inspiration from my friend Scott, I have decided to post some of my writing. I wrote this a few months ago when I first moved to Chicago.

Jon Brion slows everything.
My heart is full.
My tears are an overflow of my rapidly changing heart, not a deep groaning--
pull to find something I'm not sure exists anymore.
I settle in, peace, happiness, and joy.
Surprise at provision, laughter, and smoke.
Charmed I'm sure.
Feeling like I should be missing my partner-sorrow.
Instead-I look out-fades away.
"Next time it will be different-different circumstances-different lighting."
The pull is for change. The stomach-the hairs.
I see my eyes differently-I am new.
I am new.
I am new.
Don't lock the doors.
Remove your tired and ragged hands from the locks and breath.
There is connection and purpose and beauty.
The moments of spontaneous emptiness-
self created and buried in the deep of what is pure.

I have prepared a place for you there. Go.
Your provision and promises and faithfulness are what move me now.
If I ever wanted anything I wanted actions-change-not complanency.
Fruit, whole, rich, ripe, moist fruit.
If I ever wanted anything, I wanted you.
I am yours and you are mine.
I love that-I love the sound of the entwined nature of our love.
If I was ever moved my anything-
it was you.
This-my love-is only the beginning.

Flickr

2006-11-06T00:24:00.000-06:00

is friendly

There's No Place Like Home

2006-11-03T23:08:00.000-06:00

My mom turned 50 last weekend! And I got to go home and surprise her, it was wonderful! I think she would say you are only as old as you feel.

The times they are a changin'

2006-11-03T00:21:00.000-06:00

There are some beautiful and unexpected things happening in life right now. I am so thankful.

Economic Justice For ALL

2006-11-03T00:04:00.000-06:00

I, and the rest of my foundations of social justice class have committed to reading this everyday from now until Thanksgiving, as a form of prayer and meditation. I think it is going to change some things about me.

These fundamental duties can be summarized this way: BASIC JUSTICE DEMANDS THE ESTABLISHMENT OF MINIMUM LEVELS OF PARTICIPATION IN THE LIFE OF THE HUMAN COMMUNITY FOR ALL PERSONS. The ultimate injustice is for a person or group to be treated actively or abadnoned passively as if they were nonmembers of the human race. To treat people; this way is effectively to say they simply do not count as human beings. This can take many forms, all of which can be described as varieties of marginalization, or exclusion from social life. This exclusion can occur in the political sphere: restriction of free speech, concentration of power in the hands of a few, or outright repression by the state. It can also tek economic forms that are equally harmful. Within the United States, individuals, families, and local communities fall victim to a downward cycle of poverty generated by economic forces they are powerless to influence. The poor, the disabled, and the unemployed too often are simple left behind. This pattern is even more severe beyond our borders in the least-developed countries. Whole nations are prevented from fully participating in the international ecnomic order because they lack the power to change their disadvantaged position. Many people within the less developed counties are excluded from sharing in the meager resources available in their homelands by unjust elites and unjust governments. These patterns of exclustion are created by free human beings. In this sense they can be called forms of social sin. Acquiescence in them or the failure to correct them when it is possible to do so is a sinful dereliction Christian duty.

I would love, love, love to hear your thoughts on this, all of you.

Snipettes of my weekend

2006-10-22T19:47:00.000-05:00

I'm so endeared to this city.
And also to this tree.
Yes mom, that is split pea soup.
Travis and I were inspired tonight and made this little gem out of some scraps of fabric I had laying around. Neat huh?

A commuter am I

2006-10-18T17:24:00.000-05:00

I take the train everywhere now, and the bus too, but mostly the train. I walk 6 blocks north west of my house and get on the train to go anywhere. I am free of my car (RIP Gary). Many times I enjoy the train, I listen to music, or read, or people watch, three of my favorite things. I often get overwhelmed by the train, not the too many people standing around me part, I don't mind that, but just overwhelmed by how many people there are. All of our lives happening at the same time.
Sometimes I get really sad. I see single mothers trying to do everything all at once and all alone, push the stroller, grab the groceries, get out the CTA pass, make sure your other child has not run into the street. I like riding with someone else (that I actually know) because then you experience them together, and you don't even have to say anything...you just sit and watch. A few times I have even gotten teary either because what I have seen is beautiful or hard. I like it when that happens.
These photos are courtesy of my friend Travis. This stop is often where my day begins and ends. Good ol' Logan Square, good ol' home.

Action

2006-10-10T20:21:00.000-05:00

I had the blessing of going to Austin for the weekend to visit my kindred in the afore mentioned post. While there, I connected with some amazing people who have encouraged me in the fight for justice. My friends, Dee, Kayti, Patrick, and Tim Brosnan have started a beautiful non-profit organization called "People Not Profit." Will you please go to their website People Not Profit.
They are giving 50% of their profits to two different organizations/causes that you can check out on their site. They are selling incredible t-shirts and beautiful tote bags. This is what will change the world. The dedication of these people and their love for the least of these will redefine how we see, do, and tolerate justice. If you will just go to their site and pass information on to your friends. I am awed and inspired. Thank you Brosnans for actually doing something!

Kindred

2006-10-10T15:56:00.000-05:00

I have been really caught up in this word lately. Perhaps because I am meeting so many new kindred people in my life. Perhaps because I am continually being reminded of how blessed I am in at the kindred people who have already saturated my life. I like it though because of the "kin" part. It reminds me that the people who enter into my life, are not just people, they are my kin, my family. I think I treat people differently, hopefully better, when I talk about them in this way, when I choose call them what they really are.

Sunday Morning...

2006-09-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

I was in the car driving to church, a new place, a new time, a newness-of everything. It was kind of gray and dreary-rain was going to come barreling down any moment. Ray LaMontagne was on the CD player, the windows were cracked and I felt content. We pulled up to the corner of Diversey and North/Clybourn (I think) and we stopped at the red light. I hear, but just barely-"Can you please help me?" I looked at Travis and then out my passenger side window. There was a little girl there-tiny, maybe 10 years old in ragged clothes. She was African-American and I think she was blind. She asked again, "Can you please help me?" I am always stunted at these moments, whatever words do escape never seem like enough, never are what I actually want to say. I feel really low when I reply-"I'm sorry, I don't have any money." She had lifted her eyes for a moment to ask the question and had stepped closer to the car. As soon as I respond-she lowers her eyes to the ground immediately and steps back. We sit for a minute, "This light is taking forever" I think to myself.
After a pause, I turn and ask-"What is your name?" Nothing, I don't think she knows I am acknowledging her, "What is your name?" "Jennifer." "Okay Jennifer well you have a good day now." I feel like a jerk-what kind of response is that? This child is obviously homeless and helpless and tell her to have a good day?! As we drive away and I am obviously affected and frustrated Travis looks at me-its like he knows too. "She reminds me of these children that were all over the streets of Kenya-all of them homeless and addicted to glue." We are quiet for a while, "Can we pray?" "Of course." We do and I feel better.
I don't really remember what Trey spoke about that morning-I know it was something about serving all God's people. I couldn't shake her face, her voice. I see this all the time-but some just never ever leave you-like Jennifer. As we were driving home it occurred to me that that child did not ask me for my money, she asked, "Can you please help me? Can you please help me?" I feel like crap again and want desperately to see her on our way home. I say to Travis-"I can't stop thinking about her." "I know, me either." "That is important I think."

Brrrrr.....

2006-09-20T18:27:00.002-05:00

I wore a sweater yesterday. I love sweaters-even ugly ones. And I love getting bundled up. It was a good day. Today is still chilly but the sun shone all day which was a nice change. I have been reading reading reading reading all the live long day. Which is actually quite amazing when I think about it. This is what I am supposed to be doing. Sitting around, drinking coffee, and reading, learning. That is very, very good. And so is life.

The Feast

2006-09-11T11:43:00.000-05:00

I really never expected it to happen so quickly, finding a church that I loved and finding excitement to serve that church, its people and the people of its various ministries, but it has. And I am grateful. Yesterday's sermon was so moving. You could really feel the Spirit moving and desiring to press something deep within our hearts. The feast-go out into the streets and bring the poor, the lame, the beggar, bring them in here to dine with us at our banquet feast. Making room for all God's people is part of the mission statement at Holy Covenant. Trey told us we are not in charge of the guest list at this feast, our job is to prepare the space, serve the people, and have joy in doing God's work. No discrimination, judgment, prejudice, invite them all and make room for them here. And I am overwhelmed because I see that Holy Covenant is doing this, not just preaching about it. On Tuesday nights they do what is called the Dignity Diner. They clear all the chairs out of the sanctuary and bring tables in and set it up like a diner. They escort the folks from the cold, dirty, uninviting street into this beautiful, warm, welcoming space, the sanctuary. Then they all have a seat, and the people are served the meal. They don't go through a "slop line" where the food could just impersonally be doled out, it is served to them. It reminds me of the Dinner on the Green that Sherwood does for the week in the forest campers.
Trey covered many things yesterday, but I really became fixated on those words, "We don't choose the guest list. We make room for all God's people." Amen.

Today

2006-09-05T22:52:00.000-05:00

Today was a very, very good day. I met with the pastor, Trey, of the church I am probably going to start attending. It is called Holy Covenant United Methodist Church (www.holycovenantumc.org). I met with the pastor because he sent an email and asked if he could hear my story and share a table with me for an hour. It was wonderful. We talked about the ways the church is active in the neighborhood and it's history and struggle. This church was very active during the Civil Rights Movement and was at the forefront of activism in the Chicago area during that time. It is a mixed-age, race, culture, class, and sexual orientation church, who welcomes all. I think it is going to be a good fit for me.
The rest of my day consisted my Violence and Non-Violence class. We spent a lot of talking about the root of the word peace and what exactly that has meant throughout the ages. After this intense discussion we met in smaller groups, and my group decided that peace has become inheritly abnormal. We view peace only as a time of no-war, which isn't true. Peace exists on many deeper levels, it is not necessarily achieved because war is no longer happening.
We also discussed this idea that God created everything in a very orderly way, it wasn't chaotic or arbitrary, but ordered. So are we as humans called to lived ordered lives? And when is our desire for order to far? Especially when we understand that often times our desire for order, and here I will use control, leads to violence. Our selfish desire for order often results in the horrible victimization of other people. How are these things reconciled? I don't know, maybe we will talk about that next week.

Here is another painting by Thomas Hart Benton. This is the first painting of his that I saw at the Blanton Art Museum in Austin, TX in May. This one is called "Romance"

What if

2006-09-02T12:38:00.000-05:00

This is a painting by Thomas Hart Benton, whom I have come to love over the last months.

Its Saturday morning. The sky is blue and looking very inviting. I am on my way out to go exploring the Chicago neighborhoods, coffee shops, parks. It feels good to be here and to be desiring things that I think are Holy. Classes began this week and many many things have been running through my head over the course of the last several days. The big, looming question has been. What if?? What if we all started living more simply, myself included. What if I consumed less and recycled more. What if I changed all the light bulbs in my house to those super cool energy efficient ones? What if I collected rain water in buckets to use for things like bathing or flushing toilets? What if I didn't purchase anything new from now on unless I absolutely had to? What if I fought hard for justice and peace? What if we were all living out every good thing about us as hard as we could? What if I loved more and judged less? What if I prayed as much as I said I would or want to? What if....whatever, you fill in the blank.
I am not even talking about radical, give it all up type of mentality, although I do believe that can be valuable as well. I am talking about making simple changes to our everyday lives that could change the lives of so many people. It doesn't even have to do with materialism, I am just stuck there right now because of what seems like my overwhelming need to buy, Buy, BUY!! It can be anything. Love people better, listen more, talk less.
I am not meaning to sound condemning or even hopeless. I am hopeful because I know people in this world who are asking the same questions, and want the same changes in their lives. I just have been stuck in this question for the last week. What if I was doing everything, not even everything, just a few things that I know would make major differences in the world. Jesus change my heart to act out of conviction and not fear or complacency. Amen.

2006-08-30T16:22:00.000-05:00

My street--North Central Park Avenue

My place!!!

Yep, the neighbors dog. His body is that of a basset hound, not a dalmatian, pretty sweet!!

My wheels

Nyumbani (Home)

2006-08-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

Where I spend a lot of time

And THIS is my new bike.....

2006-08-27T15:27:00.000-05:00

Except she's royal blue and bit more rusty and rickety, but I love her!

Praise Be to God!!

2006-08-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

Uganda's Lord Resistance Army that has been leading a paramilitary group for over 18 years agreed to a cease fire today!! This is a HUGE victory!!! Check out the article on allafrica.com
http://allafrica.com/stories/200608240806.html

I posted on this issue a while back. You can go to the invisible Children website for more information. Part of the reason this war is so devastating is because children are the prime candidates for soldiers in this army. Since the beginning of all of this over 50,000 children have been abducted. There is lots of great information out there that can tell you more than I can, but please give thanks for what God has done in this place!!

Wow!

2006-08-24T19:21:00.000-05:00

This article posted on burnsidewriterscollective.com--hosted by Donald Miller and friends is really worth reading. Please check it out.

http://www.burnsidewriterscollective.com/social/2006/08/treasurers_on_earth.php

I'm going to think of how to respond and then put something up later, but for now I am just taking it all in.

The Smells

2006-08-23T18:14:00.000-05:00

It smells different in Chicago, it is clean, but something about it is very different. I can see the sky here, and it is beautiful, really blue, not gray and overcast like I remember. My neighborhood is lively. It is refreshing to see people sitting on their front porches just waiting for people to walk by and say hello...kids on bikes. I am being a porch sitter as well. I am reading "Of Human Bondage" by W. Somerset Maugham. Lots of great smells, chicken, and tortillas.
I had dinner with some friends last night, two women from my bible study in college. We sat outside at this little Italian place and ate more than our fair share of pecorino, prosciutto, salmon, and gorgonzola fondue. Oh, we also had some great red wine. We hadn't been together in three years, it was so lovely just to sit and be together, to share stories about the past we shared and the past we didn't. I am so blessed. Chicago is going to be good to me, I can feel it.

Freedom....

2006-07-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

I am going to start paying more attention to people's eyes.

And so it begins...and ends

2006-05-22T17:47:00.000-05:00

I have been living in a crazy dichotomy for the last 3 years I feel. I went to Kenya and for the first month lived in this beautiful flat with hard wood floors and running water and a television and when I stepped out onto my balcony I could see people washing their tattered clothes in the muddy river below. I went to live at a children's home and had everything I could ever need and want and watched kids fight over the last bit of githurai for the night. I worked in the slums of Nairobi and each night walked out and watched the environment become progressively cleaner, shinier, and more modern.
I came home and indulged in all the things I thought I had missed and longed for Africa. I had all these things TV, a car, endless amounts of clothing and shoe options, hot water, and no parasites, and would have left it all for Africa, and I still would, in a heartbeat.
This perpetual dichotomy is becoming exhausting as it continues to weave its way through my entire life. Here I am, in Boulder, sitting in a coffee shop, with my laptop, thinking about the last goodbyes I will say today. I am so sad, my life here in Boulder has been easy, for the most part, and so fulfilling. It makes sense that I would want to just stay here for the rest of my life, settle down and start feathering my nest. But I don't, almost nothing inside me really wants that for the rest of my life.
So, now I choose to begin something that I know the Lord has confirmed as His will, and am leaving my comfortable, easy, Boulder life to pursue something hard, and challenging, and life-giving. This is what I really want. See the dichotomies all over the place? It just confirms for me that what is hard, can also be what is good. Maybe I am oversimplifying everything, Boulder has been challenging too, but it is not the kind of challenge I want because I know, no matter what, I will always be comfortable here. And then I wonder if these are even choices I am making, or are they awakening by the Holy Spirit, I am choosing it but...I don't really think it is me.
All of this to say, I am confused by my decisions sometimes, but always hopeful. The Lord doesn't really make sense, what He calls us to doesn't really either, I guess that is where I am and it is good.
I am going to be pretty inaccessible for awhile because I get to go and live in California for the summer and spend my time with some incredible people. I am so excited, and feel so blessed.
My address for the summer is:
45800 Calvin Crest Road
Oakhurst, CA 93644
Calvin Crest or Bust!!!

The time has come--

2006-05-05T18:33:00.000-05:00

For me to start saying goodbye to Boulder, my home and community for the last five years. It is really strange for me, I said goodbye when I went to Kenya but I also planned on returning, maybe even settling down here. Now--nearly three years later, I can't see myself thriving in Boulder, it doesn't have the flare I need in my life, the diversity, the liveliness. I love it here, it is here that I met the Lord and began growing up in my faith, I was nurtured and cared for in a deep and meaningful way by so many people, but the time has come, this feel really final this time. I will soon move to Calvin Crest for the summer and then move to Chicago to start a brand new, and sort of unexpected chapter. I don't think this life is what I would have dreamed for myself, it is so much better, what I have been given that is. I never dreamed such a full and abundant life for myself and that is glory of God, that He would totally surprise us with His goodness, give us more than we could have ever imagined. I am so thankful, it has been a long seven months, the clouds are rising, and I see the sun, it is good to be able to say these things about God and really really mean it. I am excited to see what will happen next. He has risen, He has risen indeed!!!

Global Nite Commute

2006-04-26T14:29:00.000-05:00

I think that I have talked about the organization Invisible Children (http://www.invisiblechildren.com/) on here before but if not, I will now. IC is an organization that has really only been around for about 3 years. A group a young men from SoCal decided to head to Sudan to make a documentary about refugees. They got to Sudan and there were no people there, so they headed to Uganda where they found out about the war that is happening there, and has been happening for almost 20 years. They made a documentary and have promoting it for the last few years. It is a great look at what is happening in Northern Uganda and how the children of the community are being abducted and forced to fight in the war or become sex slaves for the soliders.
As an act of solidarity, protest, and attention raising they are doing a Global Night Commute on April 29th. You can go to the website to find out more details but basically everyone who is interested will gather in a park or bus depot in your city and you will spend the night out their with a bunch of other people who are passionate and caring like you!! Sounds amazing huh?! I am going and can't wait to have some great conversation with different people and hear about what is going on in different parts of Denver. So check it out...you can also go to the Burnside Writers Collective and read an inspirational piece about being a part of history. www.burnsidewriterscollective.com

Check it out

2006-04-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Michael DelPonte has started an incredible organization called Conscious Lifestyle. He is doing very inspiring grassroots work and you should all check out his site. consciouslifestyle.org (sorry I don't know how to create a link)
It brings me hope to know there are people who are working so diligently for change, who care so deeply for the lives of others. What a blessing to know such a man!

Whoa!!!

2006-04-25T21:24:00.000-05:00

Life is rollercoaster sometimes, my life has been so up and down over the last few days, I kind of can't believe I am still hanging on. That is the way it goes sometimes, back and forth and up and down, only to arrive at the place where you started.

Oh Joy of Joys!!!

2006-04-13T14:04:00.000-05:00

My day began with an incredible and honoring invitation to be a bridesmaid in my friend Hillary's wedding!!! She will be getting married to whom I can only assume is one incredible man because of how amazing and incredible she is on November 25th 2006, in Raleigh, NC. I am humbled and honored to get to share in this with them!! I think she will soon be Hillary Zilasinkinikninina or something like that. My life is full and blessed!

The happy couple at Christmas this year!

Hill and I after a glorious day of rafting on the Mighty White Nile!! Those were the days!

Enraptured

2006-04-11T21:05:00.000-05:00

Africa on my mind all the time. I can't wait to get back there, to be in a place where relationships and community are the most important parts of life. Where sitting and drinking tea with no agenda is the agenda. To put my feet on the red soil, and listen...to see the Southern Cross, and the sunrise, the faces...comfort, and harmony. Life and love...How do I make that a reality for my American life?

Some more Mr. Perkins

2006-03-29T20:46:00.000-06:00

This is not the John Perkins who wrote "Confessions of an Economic Hitman"
He usually is listed as John M. Perkins
Here is a clip about him from Amazon.com
This is the true and moving story of John Perkins, a black from Mississippi who experienced oppression by whites, including the murder of his brother. He overcame bitterness through the good news of Jesus Christ. Beaten almost to death for his efforts to empower the black community in the 60's, Perkins fought back with love and power from God, building a successful ministry of community spiritual and economic development that brought blacks and whites together. Perkins must be a man who truly believes that God became a man and dwelt among us. For that model of sacrificial love and service has been the benchmark and inspiration for his life and ministry. A refreshing break from the usual religious hype, this book will show skeptics an authentic, practical, and compelling Christianity they may have never seen before. And it will challenge Christian readers to apply, in utterly down-to-earth ways, the implications of their faith. No literary masterpiece, it simply tells what happened. Perkins is clearly not interested in self-promotion; he doesn't shirk from sharing his own blemishes and failures. This simplicity and humility of narrative serve to underscore the reality of God's presence in the events recounted, with the result that the reader is emboldened to take a bigger view of what God can do in his or her own life to bring about healing and reconciliation in his or her community. Of interest to anyone with such aspirations, this book should never be allowed to go out of print

We talked about a book in one of my classes the other day called 'Let Justice Roll Down" I am not sure when I will get a chance to dive into his stuff. but if other people know anything about him, I would like to hear what they have to say.

john perkins anybody???

2006-03-28T15:18:00.000-06:00

Has anyone who reads this blog, if anyone reads this blog, ever read anything by John Perkins? I am going to start getting into him because he is amazing, full stop

Chicago...The New Age...Oh what would Frank Lloyd Wright say?

2006-03-19T21:26:00.000-06:00

Oh Columbia!! It has been a great but intense week. Midterms happened, and I found out that I have been accepted into the Master's in Social Justice and Master's in Social Work program at Loyola University in Chicago. Yep....sure is good news!!!! So come August, post Calvin Crest I will head off to Chicago! I am very excited!!!
That's all I guess...I am doing well, living life...roll on.

This man is really on to something

2006-02-14T14:55:00.000-06:00

I know that Bono gets a lot of slack and I am not sure that I agree with all that he says or does. But I love that he is using his position of power to make a difference, and guess what...it is working. This is one of his latest sermons that really set me on fire. I love what he is saying, it seems revolutionary and maybe it is, but it also seems so obvious.

http://www.data.org/archives/000774.php

"The Constant Gardner", "The Persistent Frustrator"

2006-02-03T18:44:00.000-06:00

I watched this movie last night and really loved it. It was really beautiful and touched me deeply because it was shot in Kenya. A lot of it takes place in Kibera, where I worked for a month while I was there. The film was done my Focus Features and so of course the cinematography is incredible, and not exploitive, which I might expect from a movie of this nature. One of the things that really got me was at the end of the movie, post-credits there was a quote from Jon Le Carre who wrote the book the screenplay is based on said something along the lines of "This movie is not based on really people or really events. However the further I dove into the world of pharmaceutical companies and their doings in developing countries, I realized my story was as tame as a Christmas card." That is a huge statement, so the film is really relevant to what is happening right now. My heart breaks sitting with this truth, I feel my gut wrenching and my eyes fill with tears. At the end of the movie it also said something like in the third world there is no such thing as murder just unfortunate deaths.

All of this is just excellerated by a really frustrating conversation I had on the bus yesterday on my way to school. This man sits down next to me and asks me for what class I am studying for. I tell him Contemporary Africa. A little small talk and silence for a while. Then he asks me how I think Africa got to be the way it is today, politically, economically, etc. Well he was asking the wrong girl, I am sure I gave him more than he ever wanted to know. Anyway, some how that led to talking about how overcrowded the urban areas in most of Africa. Then he says, "Don't you think that HIV could be nature's way of trying to control the population?" WHAT!!!!!!!!! It is so frustrating, when I said, "No, I don't" he just wouldn't let it go, he just kept saying that had to be the reason why HIV was so rampant. Next he asked me how to help, I was fuming and didn't really want to continue the conversation and what a huge question. I suggested that I think it would be helpful if the Africans were given some of their land back to begin subsistence farming again, so atleast they could feed their families. The urban flight would really help with public health issues etc. He says, "There is no way that would work, they don't know how to farm, they are ignorant." Thankfully at this point the bus ride was almost over, I responded by saying "Africans have been farming almost longer than anyone else in the whole world." He said they really don't know how, they will ruin the eco-systems because they are not farming organically, and the ecosystem is more important than the people, comments like that do not even warrant a response. There is more, but the point is, people really don't understand, nor care really. This man is a marketing professor on my campus, he is educating students, plus, I don't mean to be crude but he is holding most of the power in this country and in the world, upper-middle class white American male. I just can't believe it really. When I go to class and shared all of this with my Contemporary African class my professor just shone. He called it a pulse check. He said he was fired up and so should we be. This is the reason he is teaching us, so that we can go and teach others. He is right, people just don't know. I have a feeling I will be seeing this man on a semi-regular basis, my prayer is that God will show me how to speak the bold truth in a way he understands and that is meaningful to him. Thank you all for listening.

New beginnings, old meanderings

2006-01-21T12:55:00.000-06:00

There is a lot going on in my life right now.
1. I started school for the first time in 2.5 years on Tuesday. What do I think??? I can't believe sometimes that God would entrust me with so much.
2. I am coordinating the AIM program at Calvin Crest this summer? What do I think??? I can't believe sometimes that God would entrust me with so much.
3. I am nannying two little girls part time on my days off from school. What do I think??? I can't believe sometimes that God would entrust me with so much.
4. I have some how become pretty much the only single person amongst my group of either coupled or married friends. What do I think??? That sometimes it is hard to be single but for the most I am thankful.
5. I am in the middle of finishing up my grad school application for next year. What do I think??? I can't believe sometimes that God would entrust me with so much.

School is amazing. It feels so good to be in a place with a little diversity. I love Boulder but it is the whitest most 'normal' place I have ever lived. It was wonderful stepping on campus the other day, seeing people from all over. My professors are great and I think they are all excited about teaching which I understand can be a rare blessing. My classes are "Culture, Racism, and Alienation", "Contemporary Africa", "Global AIDS Pandemic", and "Cross-Cultural Communication". I really am just overwhelmed at this, first that I even get to have an education at all, second that I get to have higher education, and third I am studying things I love. Sometimes it is a little scary. Scary in the best possible way. Not scary in a way that I would ever consider not doing this. By scary I mean, I can feel the Lord on the move. I can sense that this next "stage" is going be something pretty huge. He is preparing me for something I have never dreamed of. But my heart has. He knows my heart so well, and knows that these are the longings my heart dares not utter. Through this preparation I also get overwhelmed because this means He believes in me and the things that I am capable of with His help, he sees way beyond who I am now and straight into my potential. Now, the best/scariest part is that He sees the same thing in each of us. We are so full of potential and the Lord will use each of us in incredible ways. Ways we would never imagine because He believes in what we truly are. He is doing something, something is stirring, I can feel it.

A taste

2006-01-21T11:52:00.000-06:00

I bought a computer recently (another blessing of being back in school). One of the things I am most excited about with this is getting to put my pictures on line. I have been wanting to do this for some time. In the meantime, here is a little taste of some of my Kenya pictures. It has been on my mind sooooo much in the last few months. More than any other time since returning, the pictures help settle something in me.

Soooooo goooooood......

2006-01-11T14:04:00.000-06:00

This is what my last few weeks have been full of, no wonder I feel the fullest I have felt in months. My cup runneth over....I am so thankful that I have been able to experience life, in it's beauty, and in it's hardness with each of these people. A dear friend said last night that it is a new morning, and I agree. The dawn has broken, the sun is rising. I am basking, taking in the rays, relishing in the warmth I have missed so dearly. Storing up, and pouring out, the rays.

The women I love, a lot to be thankful for

Hunter and Sarah's reception

The beautiful bride and groom

The fam...in its truest form...so beautiful

The Original North Street House

Yup

A lovely Anne Capp

Dancin shoes on

Another reason to be thankful

The crew

A New Year's Eve for the books at the TEET'S!!!!!

Discovered

2006-01-10T21:07:00.000-06:00

My best friend, Jeni says there are no secret blogs in our friendship. Yeah I know, but blogging is kind of weird and so I didn't know how I really felt about it. So to Jeni, I promise, my next secret blog will not be a secret to you.

Make a difference

2005-12-09T15:50:00.000-06:00

If you all are anything like me, you get discouraged and feel like there is not much you could to really make a difference. Well, there is, buy fair trade goods. Christmas is right around the corner and if you celebrate this holiday by buying gifts for the people you love, buy them from places that support the people who spent hours and hours creating them. It may be idealistic, but every little bit helps.

The feast

2005-11-28T10:53:00.000-06:00

Yes, like probably every other American, I stuffed myself on the Thanksgiving Day basics, and it was a feast. However, the feast I am talking about is the feast I realized the Lord has set out before me. I went home on Wednesday evening after a long day at the shelter. Holidays are not always my favorite time with family (as I think is true for many people, unfortunately) so I was not overly enthused about the next 48 hours. While I was praying about my time there, the word "obey" kept running through my head. Okay, I thought, easy enough. So I headed home, with a profound sense that the Lord was right in the middle of my time there. I had a wonderful evening cooking with my mom and goofing around with all of my sisters. Later in the evening, things were starting to go down hill, and the patterns that haunt my family emerged. I shut down, and went to bed, so did everyone else after a while. I was laying there thinking about this and how I didn't want this to happen, and how I wanted it to be different, and I heard my mom crying. Then I heard "obey" and "go out there." I want to say that I jumped up and got out of bed and went to be with my mom. However, it took a little coaxing, but finally I knew, this is where God is going to show up. So, I went.
And let me tell you, when you are obedient to what God is calling you to do, his faithfulness will shine! My relationship with my mom is very rocky, we hardly ever see eye to eye, we just don't understand one another. We stayed up till 2 in the moring talking about this and trying to see eye to eye. We cried together. I heard her say something I have been waiting for for the last 6 years, she said "I want to exemplify Jesus in everything I do and say." I just sobbed. And then I realized, the playing field has just been leveled, now the Holy Spirit has made his work known in my mom, and that changes everything. She spoke the name of her Savior.
Maybe "leveling of the playing field" isn't the way to explain it. But I don't have better words. The next day, things were different, we loved differently, and we could both feel it. The feast, it is sprawling, as far as the eye can see, he has prepared a table before each one of us, in the presence of our enemies, yes, but also to partake in with the people we love. Wow.

Get Involved, this is important

2005-11-18T14:00:00.000-06:00

In other news, there is an organization called Invisible Children www.invisiblechildren.com and they are going to start a national tour in February to raise money to help fund a facility they are building in Northern Uganda as a refuge for the children affected by the civil war happening in that country. Children as young as 5 and 6 years old are being recruited as soliders for this war that has been happening for the last 12 years.
On this national tour they will showing a video they made about a year and a half ago about the lives of these children. They are asking people who want to help with this to organize viewings of the film at churches or libraries, anywhere with a lot of seating and a screen. I am in contact with a pastor of the church I have been attending to see what can be done. Please go to their website for more information.

At work...

2005-11-18T13:37:00.000-06:00

Since returning from camp in August, and then a short visit to Chicago I have been basically unemployed. I had a short shtint at Fresh Grains Bakery and Coffee Shop, which I really enjoyed even though it was barely enough to pay the bills. Well...then one day I went in and they were closing their doors, and yes I will go ahead and blame all the corporate operations in the area, with crappy product and cheaper prices. So, I was back on the search again. I have been working a little here and there for a youth shelter. I work on an on-call basis, which means the work has been limited. I have also been raking leaves for some dear friends, which has been good, beautiful. Well, on Monday I will start working for Aspen Marketing Research talking to businesses and doing surveys. Yuck! But something, even if it is for the same amount of money I was making pre-college degree is better than nothing.
The rest of life has been great, and things are getting better and better everyday. Our community here in Boulder has been in a season of really having to fight for what we know is good, but I am seeing the repairs that God is doing more and more. I am thankful.

A word to the wise....

2005-11-11T00:20:00.000-06:00

Do not ever google yourself. Scary things happen. My dear friend Shannon Roark googled herself and found someone else's blog that stated the following: "Until the age of 15, I had many Genuine Experiences© that included:
teaching myself to ride a bike
being an altar boy
groping and being groped by Shannon Roark (no relation)
"experimenting with drugs"®
playing goalkeeper

Just for clarification, this is not THE Shannon Roark that we know and love...that is the scary part!

Relief-The sweet smell of relief

2005-11-09T23:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight was supposed to be the night our community here in Boulder meets as a small group. Well, some people are out of town, and one is sick so...we did not meet tonight. I was disappointed as it has been a hard fall for us here and we need as much intentional time in prayer as we can get, however things took a turn for the better when Marie and I decided to make butterscotch oatmeal cookies. There was geniune laughter, the kind from the belly, I felt relief, even though I am unemployed, and feeling a little hopeless. It was wonderful to come into the house from doing the laundry and hear good music and smell something that smelled like home. I am thankful to be here and to have these friends, and to be living with these women.

Something

2005-10-09T01:51:00.000-05:00

Here is something. It is late, and I am tired, so I will be careful, but today was beautiful. Which, coincidently is what "nzuri maisha" means-beautiful life, and it is. Days like today really help to overcome what I might sometimes think is not a beautiful life. I went to a great old soda fountain in Lyons and had peanut butter and banana shakes with best friends, we went hiking in the mountains, we saw the clouds turn pink, we listened to incredible music as we came home and watched the stars begin to appear, we shared a pint and a meal, we fellowshipped over a game of "Acquire" (which I won, first time). Life is beautiful, and I am thankful.

I think I have something to say....

2005-10-07T18:45:00.000-05:00

But right now, I am not sure what it is. Give me a day, or two.